When marketing overlooks the pedant demographic

Do they think we’re stupid?

The word “express” means quick, not small – why was my local Blockbusters video store called Blockbusters Express just because it was tiny and had limited selection? It was no quicker, except perhaps quicker to walk straight back out of again because there was nothing worth renting.

There was a Tesco Express too, again just a lot smaller than the regular, non-express Tesco, and slower because they had fewer tills which were shared with the petrol station. Express means quick not small.

I stayed in a Holiday Inn which had “the perfect in-room menu”!

Oh, so it was perfect, was it?

So it could not be improved under any circumstances? Fantastic attitude, a great way to ensure standards are kept.

I tried to order a ham and mushroom pizza and couldn’t because it wasn’t on the menu.

Obviously it wasn’t perfect enough.

And my least favourite: Ultimate.

The “ultimate in bathroom design” or “the ultimate beef sandwich” – do they not know that ultimate means final.

There will be no more!

There is nothing beyond ultimate, that’s it.

The end.

Do they really mean that bathroom design and beef sandwiches will be discontinued following their “ultimate” product?

So I shall not be going to Tesco Express to buy the ultimate beef sandwich from the perfect selection.


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