I have been the victim of workplace bullying.

Members of my family have been victims of bullying, as have many of my friends and colleagues, as well as people I have worked with over the years as a trainer and coach.

These examples range from mild and ambiguous to serious abuses of power leading to job loss and health problems.

The one thing they have in common is that the bully sees it as the victim’s fault and, after months or years of this treatment, often the victim starts to think they are the problem too.

The thing is, the opposite is true: if you’re a bully, you’re a problem.

If you can’t manage people – even if there is a performance issue – without bullying, then you are (at best!) an unskilled manager and an incompetent professional.

Continue reading “It’s not me, it’s you” →